I was on the phone with my friend when her husband who she was separated from came over and was banging on the windows trying to get into the house. My friend was scared and I came over her house and spent the night with her. She was a wreck, shaking, and jumping at every sound (it was a windy night). I stayed up with her until she was able to sleep. The next day the guy shows up after I had left and created another scene.
I advised my friend to file for an restraining order, which she did. I submitted a statement to the court detailing what I heard over the phone, the situation that my friend described to me, and her state when I arrived. I made sure that I stated that I didn’t see him with my own eyes. The judge asked the guy in court if what was in the statement actually happened, and he said “Yes”. (idiot!!!). The judge ordered the restraining order permanent, and it included no visitations with his child.
I feel so bad, because I would not want to be a party to keeping a man from his child. I can understand (while not condoning) a man flying off the handle when he realizes his marriage is truly over. I have been on that ledge myself. However, an adult time out shouldn’t prevent a man from having a relationship with his child. I was shocked that the judge went that far, because he didn’t threaten her or his child…he just came over acting stupid.
Is there anything I can do to rectify this? Can I write the court or something? I tried talking to my friend, but she doesn’t want to discuss it. As far as she is concerned, she has a nice sized child support check (because of the lack of visitation) without having to deal with her ex. She is on disability, so she doesn’t have to worry about child care or any of the normal problems most people have to deal with when they walk out of a marriage.
She’s my friend, but I’m a father also!
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My Testimony Caused Another Man Not To Be Able To See His Child. How Do I Rectify This?
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You screwed him.
Sorry.
Only she can go to court to try and have it lifted.
Check around your car for the next few years, and have a couple of spare tires ready all the time, you’ll need them.
You did nothing wrong. You presented the facts as they were and even the man in question admitted that is what happened. You could not predict what the judge would have done in the end. Do not feel guilty. It is unfortunate he cannot see his son, but any additional statement you make to the court will now put you in the realm of being a liar.
You did the right thing.
Imagine how you would feel if the guy had harmed your friend and her child.
It probably isn’t something that will last forever. It’s probably just a temporary thing.
I dont believe your story…what state did this happen in?
There a few red flags in your story…
Well in this case the judge sounds like a wanker.
I would not have a clue as to what you could do now Sorry
Your statement alone is not keeping this man away from his child. It mostly has to do with what the parents state in court. Almost any act of stupidity can keep a parent from their child when a court is involved. What’s done is done, stay out of it.
In cases where the ex is irrational and potentially abusive to the spouse the chances of them either taking the child or harming them to hurt the spouse is very common which is likely why the judge included no visitation. There may be more to this than you are aware which caused the judge to make that decision. Likely the no visitation stipulation will be lifted at some point in time however if not your friends husbands behavior caused this to happen so you shouldn’t feel bad about submitting the statement about what you heard. It would have been much worse if you did nothing and the ex ended up harming your friend and/or her child. You did the right thing.
Sounds to me like you told the truth.
Why do you feel guilty again? He confessed, and got punished. Where do you come into it again?
The judge upon reading that you didn’t see it with your own eyes is legally bound to dismiss your testimony. He can not consider it. There for, you didn’t break it, you can’t fix it.
Here’s my problem with this story….
If you have been there, on the ledge as you claim, you would have thought about this before you wrote a statement. It seems to be more in the lines of, you wanted more from your friend, she’s not spreading the twins for you, so it’s time to punish her now… I hope that’s not the case, but it would be more believable to me…
There is something here I’m just not buying, though I can’t place a finger on it….